Tag Archives: sarcasm

Ten Easy Ways To Get Broken Up With Immediately.

Remind them that you are just settling and you could leave them at any time. Tell them about your independence and how good it feels to be a loner, bur you’re just currently carrying some extra “baggage”. Emphasize your statements … Continue reading

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It’s Hard To Shave While Driving…But That’s Why God Made It So Toes Curl Perfectly Around Steering Wheels.

Got my slurpee. Got my chili dog. Got my Sociology textbook to study on the way to class. Now just time to merge into traffic.

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The Tale Of That Guy Who Thinks He Needs To Answer Every Question In Class.

The worst thing about a college social sciences class is not that tests aren’t multiple choice, or the materials are hard, or the fact that you’re teacher constantly confronts you with topics discussing your own mortality. It’s that one kid … Continue reading

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Remember the Ice Cream Truck Man? Bet You Don’t Remember His Cigarette Ash-dangle and Grease ‘Stache.

One of the fondest childhood memories is the simple euphoric joy of hearing that chimy jingle rumble down your suburban block. The ice cream man. His glorious white truck of milky vanilla goodness glints in the early evening sunlight. His … Continue reading

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I Smell Leather, and Baskets, and That Guy’s Ketchup-stained Slipknot Shirt Almost Matches His Grease Ponytail. Yeah, I’m at a Flea Market.

I’m a really positive person. I only hate a couple things in this life. I hate crinkling potato chip bags. I hate Pea coats. I hate people who pop the collars on their pea coats. I hate the way people … Continue reading

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